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Street Mom's Penny Parenting
"Mom,
how come my friend Tommy has a Gameboy, a Sega, and his own computer,
and why can't I?!" Ugh. Don't we as money-conscious parents
dread hearing questions like that, when we know that our methods
are for the best?
It's
hard for kids to understand that there are no money trees in our
backyards, and that a credit card really does represent cash. In
fact, I find it difficult to bring my girls to the store with me,
because they're entering the stage where they want everything they
see, regardless of the fact that they have loads of stuff that doting
aunt, uncles, and grandparents have already given them right at
home. I don't like always saying "no," but I find myself
in that situation all the time! I try to tell myself I'm being a
good parent by not allowing them every nifty new item that comes
down the pike. It sure is exhausting, though. And one look at their
crestfallen faces increases the guilt. I forge forth, however, out
of concern for their welfare and sense of priority down the line.
Do
you feel a need to get creative with ways to explain why the tots
can't have every gadget and gizmo that their peers have? Here are
a few suggestions for dealing with it in a patient and positive
manner:
1.
Be flat-out honest. Let them know that as their parents, you love
them enough to want what's best for them. Sometimes, going without
something is what's best, for several reasons. The money is needed
for more important things, like groceries, gasoline, and the mortgage
payment. Also, going without gives us strength to say no to other
things.
2.
Let them know that everyone handles money differently, and what's
right for one family might not be right for another. You don't happen
to think it's necessary to have excess "stuff" around
the house, because you already have plenty of nice things to enjoy.
And the better they're cared for, the longer they can be enjoyed.
3.
Explain that having stuff doesn't make a better person. It's what
we do, and not what we have, that makes us special. It's so hard
for kids to understand this, but the less we cave, the better off
they are.
4.
Suggest they save and buy it themselves. That's kind of tough if
they are very small, get no allowance, or are too young to baby-sit
or mow lawns, but a good message just the same.
Whatever
you do, don't feel guilty about limiting the material goods. They
learn in time that they are not what's important, as long as they
hear that message regularly told to them in loving and positive
tones.
*****
Mia
Cronan is a happily married at-home mother of four children, ages
8, 6, 4, and 1, living in Ohio. She owns and edits http://MainStreetMom.com,
the magazine for modern mothers with traditional values. Mia can
be reached at mia@mainstreetmom.com.
MainStreetMom.com
is the flagship site of http://EMCWebs.com.
Ask Mia how to make money at home while raising your family! http://mainstreetmom.com/mw
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