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Experts > Professional Motherhood
Hearts
at Home
Anne
was born on a cold, snowy February morning. Being our first child,
she turned our world upside down as we began to navigate this journey
called parenthood. It feels like it was just yesterday, but it wasn't.
It was 17 years ago.
Over the years we searched for the best preschools, the best piano
teachers, and the best school experience for her. Now we're in a
search for something I thought was years away: the best college
for our daughter.
Where did the time go? What happened to that little girl in pigtails
who loved to pretend and play with dress-up clothes? When did she
move from a Happy Meal to Value Meal #9?
We've certainly been on a steep learning curve this year helping
Anne with her search for the best higher education opportunity.
If you have children in junior high or early high school, it's not
too soon to begin to think about the search process and discuss
your family's strategy. Here are some thoughts to get you started:
THE PRIMARY SEARCH SEASON IS THE JUNIOR YEAR OF HIGH SCHOOL. I've
been amazed at the admission counselors who have personally thanked
us for visiting during Anne's junior year. They have shared that
too many parents and students wait until the senior year and then
have to rush the decision-making process. Many colleges have early
application deadlines in September of the student's senior year.
THE SEARCH NEEDS TO BE BASED UPON THE STUDENT'S DESIRES RATHER THAN
THE PARENT'S DESIRES. Going to school is about pursuing the child's
desires, not chasing a parent's dream.
PLAN FOR SOME TRAVEL AND HOTEL EXPENSES WHEN VISITING SCHOOLS. This
time away has proven to be wonderful one-on-one time with our college-bound
child.
PAY ATTENTION TO THE LOCAL COLLEGE PREPARATIN RESOURCES IN YOUR
OWN COMMUNITY. We began our search process at a college night sponsored
by our local schools where hundreds of colleges were represented.
This allowed interaction with college representatives, an opportunity
to gather brochures and information, and a chance to place yourself
on the mailing list of schools that were of interest to you.
BEGIN EDUCATING YOURSELF ON THE FINANCIAL AID PROCESS. Once again,
the local resources were invaluable. A community- wide financial
aid seminar that was offered was very helpful to us. You might also
want to check out www.finaid.org.
DECIDE AND DISCUSS THE FINANCIAL RESPONSIBILITY YOUR CHILD WILL
HAVE IN THEIR HIGHER EDUCATION. Begin with the responsibility of
getting good grades-that can pay off financially. Encourage them
to apply for independent scholarships.
HAVE THEM PRACTICE FILLING OUT A COLLEGE APPLICATION DURING THEIR
JUNIOR YEAR. Most schools require an essay in the application process.
Often this is the most time consuming part of the process for students.
COMPARE COLLEGES USING THE INTERNET. The best website we found for
comparing schools is found at:
www.usnews.com/usnews/edu/college/coworks.htm
CONSIDER OTHER FORMS OF CONTINUING EDUCATION. Attending college
right after high school is not always the right choice for every
student. Don't discount the value of trade school, community college,
or even spending some time in the workforce. In the end, make sure
the decision is one with which the child feels most comfortable.
The process of letting go is one of the most difficult challenges
parents face. However, the journey of searching for the right form
of higher education provides a transition opportunity for both parent
and child. In the search for the right match for their dreams and
desires our children learn more about themselves in the process.
We, too, learn more about our child as they make this transition
into adulthood. And that is what parenthood is really all about.
Jill
Savage, author of Professionalizing
Motherhood and Is There Really Sex After Kids? (Feb. 2003),
is a mother of four children ranging in ages six to seventeen. Jill
and her husband Mark live in Normal, Illinois with their four children
ranging in age from six to seventeen. She serves as the Director
of Hearts at Home , an organization
designed to encourage women in the profession of motherhood.
For more information about Hearts at Home call 309-888-MOMS or check
out www.hearts-at-home.org.
Copyright
2002 Hearts at Home. All rights reserved.
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