Homebodies
Experts > Family Manners
Manners
of the Heart
No
one was good enough for me, at least not in my daddy’s
eyes. Daddy found something wrong with every boy that ever came
calling. One fellow was too tall, the next was too short. One fellow
didn’t “have the sense to know his own name.” (He
was so intimidated by Daddy, he introduced himself using his brother’s
name!) Another was just “plain foolish.”
Daddy’s best friend was the sheriff of our home county in
Mississippi. When I left on a date daddy called in the license
plate number of my date’s car. During the evening official
cars would pass and blink their lights at us, just to remind my
date that “Lamar’s daughter” was in the car.
Then
there’s the time the unfortunate young fellow drove
up on a Sunday afternoon and tooted the horn of his VW bug. Before
Mother and I could race out the back door Daddy was jerking open
the fellow’s car door to reach in and pull him from behind
the wheel. I can still see the terror on his face as he looked
in Daddy’s eyes, “Uh………I’m
here to pick up Jill Anne.” Daddy growled, “Not to
today, you’re not, or any other day.” Daddy threw him
back in his car and told him to “get on down the road.”
I
was furious. I knew Daddy had ruined my social life. I didn’t
think I would ever have a date again. I ignored Daddy the rest
of the day. I wouldn’t speak or look at him. No traditional
goodnight from me. Monday morning came. I dreaded going to school.
Sure enough, the fellow was waiting by my locker. Much to my surprise
and relief he said he wouldn’t tell, if I didn’t. He
apologized for his inconsiderateness and asked me to forgive him.
I
had to face Daddy when I got home, since I had been less than
gracious about his attempt at standing up for my virtue the day
before. In my mind it had been an unnecessary intrusion in my
private life. Daddy was waiting for me on the porch with a decisively
questioning; “Well,
are you going to speak to me?” look on his face. When I looked
in Daddy’s eyes I saw a father determined to protect me,
even when I hated him for it. I saw a father who loved me more
than I deserved. I saw a father who needed a kiss of gratitude
rather than a shrug of indignation from a spoiled teenage daughter.
I stood on my tiptoes and gave him a peck on the cheek and a hug
and said simply, “Thank you for being you.”
Dad,
you are your daughter’s protector and your son’s
mentor. You can be a hero to both, if you choose. Do you want your
daughter to be cherished one day by a special young man? Then,
cherish her today. Do you want your son to be a faithful husband
to a precious young woman? Then, be the example for him to live
up to. Treat your wife the way you want your daughter to be treated.
Your son will learn how to love his wife and your daughter will
learn how to respect her husband.
***
Jill
Rigby
Executive Director
Manners of the Heart Community Fund
Encouraging families, Equipping schools, Engaging communities
225 923.2881
www.mannersoftheheart.org
www.thebusinessofmanners.com
Jill Rigby is the
author of Manners
of the Heart®, a manners and etiquette
curriculum for elementary school children, that teaches the moral
principles of respectfulness toward others. She conducts workshops
and seminars across the country for schools, civic organizations
and parents’ groups. In addition, she has a newspaper feature
that highlights these life lessons with activities for children
and their parents.
Jill has been a speaker for numerous local and national conventions—–Focus
on the Family’s National Teachers’ Conference, NAEYC,
and NAESP, in addition to others. She serves on the board of The
Louisiana Family Forum, a statewide board that supports family values.
She is a graduate of CLASS and is a member of AWSA (Advanced Writers’
and Speakers’ Association.) She is also a popular speaker for
women’s retreats, conferences and banquets, as well as, home
school organizations.
Jill is the very proud mother of twin sons, Boyce and Chad, who
are currently students at Louisiana State University, and are well
known as young men with “perfect” manners.
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