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When I lived in San Diego, my job took me up to the Los Angeles
area or through it to the central coast up to Northern California.
I was pretty good at knowing when I would have to leave San Diego
to be able to get through Orange County, or east towards Riverside,
or north of L.A. through Pasadena, Ventura and Simi Valley to avoid,
as much as possible, the heaviest traffic. But no matter how much
I planned, the slow downs were always a reality and part of the
drive.
There was too much traffic for the freeways; continuous construction
and the accidents, which no amount of planning will eliminate.
You just had to chalk it up as part of the job or the reality of
driving through the massive L.A. area and its tangle of freeways.
It
reminds me of parenting in some ways and I don’t think
I am any more used to the slow downs after 3 kids and into 7 years
of being a parent since the time I first walked the halls (a good
distance behind my wife, especially during contractions) waiting
for my first child to join our diligent duet.
Before
kids, the pace of life was whatever we wanted it to be. We were
married in our late twenties and pretty much set in our ways.
We didn’t wait long to start our family, and actually,
I don’t think Alexis slowed us down too much. The college
students at our favorite coffee house loved our beautiful new addition
and she got more than enough attention while we indulged our caffeine
fix. We continued to do our thing, in and around diapers, naps
and feedings.
But then came number two, and not so far behind number three.
Our freeway was getting crowded!
I
really felt the effect of the traffic jam when my kids began
doing things themselves, like buckling their own seatbelts, getting
their own drinks and making their own beds. I want the constant
flow of an unimpeded freeway, but they have other plans. They
are taking the off ramp when I am expecting them to be flyin’ in
the passing lane. They want to yield, when I see the light turn
to yellow and I’m flexin’ my foot to horizontal. Our
lives have converged and arrived at a major slow down and I missed
the flashing warning signs along the way.
“OK guys, head out to the car and get buckled in,” I
state as we are getting ready to go somewhere, anywhere, wherever.
I finish turning out the lights and making sure the house is secure
and walk out to the garage expecting to jump behind the wheel,
turn the key and race down the driveway with the crew safely attached
to the backseat.
But in reality, one is in the front, turning the volume on the
radio up to load plus one, while one is sliding the belt up and
down as if fly fishing on the Rio Grande. The other is actually
belted in, but upside down. They are quickly admonished and redirected
to the original course. One has managed to flip around with seatbelt
intact, while the one giving a challenge to the sound system has
made his way to the back, a once forgotten Spiderman toy has caught
his eye and should be colliding with the headrest instead of just
laying on the floor. No trout for the third, but at least I hear
a click.
Yes,
the passing lane and even reaching the speed limit is still a bit
out of sight. It is a different road. And while as parents we feel
like we are racing on the Bonneville Salt Flats, my kids seem content
to play the tortoise, unaware the hare isn’t that
far behind. ***
Eric
Lapp, Dean of Strategic Domicile Quiescence & Fecundity, lives
with his beautiful wife, Carla, in Murphy TX (outside of Dallas)
with Alexis 7, Jacob 6 and Nathaniel 3.
Are
you a stay-at-home dad, or do you have some comment for Eric on
this article? Email him at
etexaslapp@comcast.net.
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